Yes, I learned long ago (4 or 5 years now) that communication is key. I always try and communicate with people and relationships, however what I don't realize is sometimes people arent in the mood to talk. Yet others just don't want to communicate at all. It's unhealthy however it is their choice not to talk. So you have to find other ways to communicate. Talking may make someone feel uncomfortable face to face but writing a letter or a blog would be more beneficial to the communication.
So I've been reading a loved one's blog and I realize she deals with more than I knew. I mean I already knew the issues she had in her past, but it really does have a hold on her heart and soul, yet she acts like it doesn't bother her. Is it denial or just a wall to summon strength to face each day. Yet a few things bothered me. She said she doesn't believe in love because she hurt someone she really loved. I have an arguement to that. She felt remorse for the hurt she caused, which is a sign of love. Had she not felt any guilt then she would have a point to which there was no love. She spoke of how deeply devoted she was to this guy, yet when she was not recieving the attention she wanted back from him because he believed in patience, she tried to force him to see what he was missing. She did so out of love, proof that it exists. Love makes us do foolish things, we hurt people we care about because we are desperate for their attention and affection. Just like I am for her to break down her wall and show me love and affection, she was too in this same situation.
We don't always make the right choices in life, we don't all have dream parents that are so supportive it's sick, but it's love that keeps us holding on. We hold on to our family and our dreams. If it wasn't for love we would give up and ignore all of these things. Now in time, we are given a chance to take those mistakes and bumps in our youth and make them right, those are our late 20's and early 30's. We won't all get everything right, however if we choose to be happy we will be. We have to let go of the past, yet hold on to the memories that remind us of the things and situations we don't want to repeat. I ran away whenever things got tough and for once in my life i am not running. At some point we have to stop running and face problems head on.
So it hurts to love, and things we say can cut deep, however if it wasn't for love, we wouldn't care about that persons feelings. We wouldn't hurt because of the hurt we caused. So truth be told, love does exist, but we push it away because we are afraid of the pain we would feel or the hurt we may cause. However the happiness we experience without the walls and without all the pieces that come together to hold us back, is worth the risk of the hurt and the pain. True we don't need someone else to be happy, yet to share those times in life with someone else is a God given blessing and miracle. Let's not take that gift for granted!
So baby, when you read this, know that I don't intentionally hurt you. I don't intentionally cause you pain, but the walls we both keep, cause our love to have imperfections. Let's break down the walls, let go of our pasts, and realize that we have an amazing love that has over come many obstacles in the past 2 years. Let's not let the walls hold us back anymore, let's be happy... together....
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