Another week down!

So today was day 7 of the love dare, and also today was to the day bri went to my counsler with me. What a shock! We were supposed to discuss my issues and what I am working on and it turned into a talk about our relationship! WOW! She wasn't happy at all, and needless to say she was running late and I came off as a jerk when i was irritated she wasn't there. I had so many emotions when she wasn't there, i was scared, nervous, and worried. Scared she wasn't going to show, nervous it would push her away, and worried the dr would be upset. WOW! I appologized but it really hurt her. I just want to spend every waking hour with her. I love her so much and I am so proud of myself for changing. I felt horrible that I failed her by getting irritated. I walked away upset with myself because had i fixed this 6 months ago, man we would already be engaged or married. I was so hurt that I let myself get confused and drawn into the judgmental bullshit. But I left and ran some errands hoping she would text but unfortunately she didn't, but i met her at the health center. Her kidneys are hurting and i just didn't want to see her suffer. I was concerned and still am concerned for her. So i "made" her go. No help, but man i felt so good doing my part to get her healthy. I am so impatient with this waiting, but she's worth it and i keep reminding myself of the amazing and great things about her. Keep positive, and not negative. It gets easier, but harder at the same time. It's easier because i am becoming more and more ok being alone, but harder because we are now becomeing independent of each other. And As much as we need that, i miss her more than ever. My dream is to be back together by halloween and my goal is thanksgiving, but I suppose we will just see what the good lord has in store for us. Here's to the road I'm walking right now, let's hope it's paved well, with love and good intentions.