Numb

So here it is, wednesday. The waiting game began yesterday in sorts. Truly I believe it began sunday evening. Waiting to hear from her. Waiting to know what the next step is, and hopefully waiting to go home for a chance to really work things out and give the love of my life the love she truly deserves. Yet I feel so numb, from the pain i've caused the things i've done and the things I can never take back. My regret and remorse are so deeply rooted in my heart and soul i will never forget what I have done and realize what type of man I really need to be. Yet the numbness continues. I have been given extentions on my finals, but the one thing that still keeps coming is mothers day. I had no clue what I wanted to do for her, but I wanted something special. I still want to plan an amazing day with her and k, and let her know this was a setback but I am still an amazing loving man, and father who will go the distance to do what I need to do. I keep checking my email, waiting for the phone to ring, begging to hear from her, but I understand what she needs now is time. I am sure a lot is going through her head. Perhaps it is all bad, however I prefer to believe this was a wake up call for both of us, to realize the stresses we were both under and the toll it took on our relationship and our health. Without those issues, I truly believe we would be fine and this would and will be eleviated. But the numbness still remains and it won't go away once I get home, but with time faith hope and love, I believe together we can heal each other. Because the greatest gift the good lord gave us is love, and that is exactly what my heart is full of for my family. I miss them so much, and i love them to the moon and back.